Task Manager

With the emergence of the personal computer,

many of us have forgotten our savior,

the task manager. 

Three quick buttons to open up a program,

that shows you everything your computer is doing,

the things that are responding and those that arent,

and you are given the option 

to end the tasks.

End those parts that arent working right now

End those parts so that others can still function,

It was a fairly useful thing. 

Leaps in technology mean that nowadays it is fairly rare for your page to freeze

and if it does freeze, 

Google Chrome will kindly offer to kill it for you.

The following pages are unresponsive:

The lesson today

The notes you should be taking

The test in front of you

would you like to kill these pages?

No Google I cant kill the lesson,

I cannot kill the classes I am in

I cannot kill the way the color of the sky is particularly blue today,

I cannot kill the way that tree outside looks really good for climbing

I cannot kill the red jelly bean that somehow made its way to the middle of the freaking carpet.

I mean I guess I could go pick it up. 

but that might disrupt class.

Shit class, are we still taking an exam?

Some days I wish I had a task manager.

Some days I wish I could control alter and delete my disorder,

Some days I fantasize about having a brain that isnt made from loose yarn, and bad ideas

Some days I would trade every creative bone in my body to just sit through a class.

Some days I wish my mind would calm down

Some nights I wish sleep came easily

Sounds like insomnia,

Some nights I wish I could worry about one thing and not everything,

Sounds like anxiety,

Some nights I wish I could simply sit,

Without being besieged by a thousand obligations

Sounds like OCD

Sounds like things a lot worse than ADD

The disorder we made up to excuse bad behavior

See I have been called everything from sped to stupid

And while I know next to nothing about brain chemistry

I know the inside of my own skull well enough 

to see loose wiring and insufficient insulation

And sometimes the wires connect,

and a bunch of buzzfeed articles will tell you,

that the ADD brain is uniquely creative,

Sounds almost sincere,

just like every professor who said,

You're brain isn't quite right

Have you tried adderall

Have you tried adderall 

Have you tried adderall

Fine.

I'll try it.

Throw back a little bit of self control,

Swallow small blue responsibility,

and wait...

Pages loading...

Pages loading...

The page "personality" is unresponsive,

The page "friendly" is unresponsive

The page "extrovert"is unresponsive 

Would you like to kill these pages?

Too late you already have.