Bottoms Up

A madman inside me rages, I am so alone

The madman succeeds and so I must atone.

The child in me whimpers, he just wants to help,

the mother in me doesn't recognize the child as her whelp.

Love yourself as though you were my child

Love yourself in green and gold and good and wood and wild

Love yourself in magic spells, that maybe could be true,

love yourself in secret messages in your least favorite hue.

Love yourself in stories that you edited for fun

love yourself in broken streets that are no less fun to run. 

Love yourself with safety for you and all the other yous

love yourself like you would love you if you met you in passing

Love yourself without remorse and don't let the past sting

love yourself in letters written on someone else's behalf

Love yourself in wisdom and know you're not the chaff 

I have loved and could always love anyone this way

except of course for me myself, at least not for today

I'm seeking transcripts from a mind that wont take notes

See if we were real or what was our deal 

cause codependent's such a small word

And if it is a diagnosis, is this a life long affliction my critical addiction?

It seems my hole was never full, and yet since I left its feels more empty.

If art can only come from abundance, why does every song draw blood?

Who am I to say who is and is not a stud. or a dud. or a bud, but probably not with bubbly. 

I talk backwards to myself sometimes because my brain doesn't like doing what its told

sometimes my fingers need to grab my conscious from my soul, and smoke a bowl knock the me out of me so I can see what I could be if hated myself a little less took the hit and had a guest at my own personal me fest. Or me feast, sometimes everyone's eyes look hungry. I'm sure mine are starving.