Silent Language

There's something I need to say,
Words spoken in the language of silence
sighs that slip into unspoken soliloquies
that carry me to the edge of a stage
 that might as well be a cliff
and I cling to every 'if'
like a man fearing death clenches his crucifix
or a junkie on the corner clutches his fix,
I'm like the child of revolution raising my fist
my gesture says more than any single speech ever could
and I swear my heart bleeds more than I ever said it would
I let it lead more times than I should,
and I want to let my head take control,
but the heart holds the soul,
which defies reason
and like the changing of the season
it never stays cold,
but does once wither and freeze,
and I'm begging you please,
see past the ice and wait for the thaw
and now that even the unruled heart obeys one law:
that it must change.
and even though right now I am at the wrong end of this shooting range
I might yet turn a new page
and I know you're feeling a bit forsaken
you've been left by friends
that promised ends
but had not the means to hold them to the bitter finale
and if you're keeping track in your tally
the dashes and slashes
have turned into stabs and slices
from a blade that was made
with a goodbye bade
while a farewell was never proffered in trade
because some fires simply don't fade
but grow,
fanned by sighs holding soliloquies
and breaths that deny the heart its intentions.
So listen to this language of silence,
of forlorn fingers
and looks that linger
and know
your heart holds a home in mine.


Poet's Note:
I wrote this over a year ago, posted it in a video of poor quality and thought that was enough. So here is the written version

A Recipe For Start

From grades 6 to 12 I was always familiar with the administration,
and trust me it was not because they wanted to show appreciation,
generally I was faced with aggravation
or poorly disguised attempts at intimidation
which I could always shrug off without the least bit trepidation,
because by 13 the lie I told was an easy one:
"I'm sorry."
I often came home to the line "You know, you're teacher called today."
and went to bed to the line "You always have something to say."
It was ironic criticism coming from professional activists'
who would always say after shutting the door "we did name him for an anarchist..."

By 15 I could identify and diagnose a mark at 30 yards,
they usually had me pegged at 50,
They knew I was the kid that never learned he should be seen and not heard,
They knew I was the kid that didn't get beaten for back talk,
Because for every smart mouth wise crack, mom had a come back word
or two, or three,
So it went that, every figure of authority,
Pegged down a a part of me
There were those that knew I was a trouble maker,
but also an instigator,
on top of that a procrastinator,
and thus they tried to run me like a dictator.
and wouldn't give me the time of day,
but would throw it like a knife,
yelling "ABOUT DAMN TIME TO GET A WATCH!"
Then there were those that let me play the role of entertainer
like a solid comic that they kept on retainer
and for me it was a no brainer,
I liked the laughs, with jokes all things are better.
But my best teachers knew what to expect.
They never had to demand respect,
That they earned, only yelling to be direct,
These were the ones who would scratch out
"Trouble" on tests and write in "difference maker"
gave me the tools to preach peace with Mennonites and Quakers
Recognized I came from a long line of movers and shakers
Like my ma, they taught don't give up but meet halfway with takers
They took me off using labels like "haters"
Pointed out people are just needers
those who help them are leaders
those who prey upon them? conflict breeders
and if you care enough to be an interceder
then get in on their behalf,
gave encouragement to use my gifts and make 'em laugh
they were honest saying:
"sometimes you'll get the shaft.
but never, never stop giving what you have,
the truth. Not all of it, not even most of it, a small part
but with that, a steady heart
a touch of art
you can go and fill your shopping cart
get all your favorite ingredients
 because you've got what you need
to make a start."