Talking

I just wanted you to know
That if ever you want to talk to me about your problems,
I'm here in whatever capacity you'd like

See my ma told me that the issue with men,
Is that we always want to fix things,
So I try not to focus on that,
Unless that's what you're looking for,
In which case I will be a rusted tool box,
And a a handful of hammered thumbs.
I will be blue prints and best laid plans,
I will be all the ambition of black coffee and early mornings,
I will be well worn work gloves, and muddy boots
I will be winters on the roof and summers in the yard
damnit I will show you that I can work hard,
As we work on repairing something.

But on the days where solutions aren't the goal,
When feelings simply need to be given a voice
Well I'm good there too.
I will be a night sky to yell into,
I will be trees waving in the wind of your voice
I will be cave where dark things that need no names can be left
I will be a well without bottom for secrets to be dropped into
I will be a back pocket that holds stuff,
Just so that your hands can clench into fists
And then open like flowers
I will be all ears and closed lips,
because you're feelings matter,
and I want to hear about them


And in those moments when you breathe hot anger
In those moments, with all of your words smoking,
When you have a mouthful of matchstick madness,
I will not be water.
I am a piss poor fire extinguisher,
When you spit sparks,
I will be gasoline and dynamite
I will be tinder and kindling
I will be a wind that whips up flames
In the face of our anger,
Problems will paint themselves in ashes
and call themselves solved.
ain't nobody trying to be in the way,
when our tempers get to flaring
when our eyes get to glaring
when our hands get to tearing
when our souls get to baring
because nobody wants to be burnt by that heat.


And on rare occasion,
When I think you're in the wrong,
I will call you on it.
I will go to the mat on behalf
of every idealistic bone in your body,
because sometimes people like us,
let our mouths run,
and sometimes passion
is just a little bit faster than compassion,
but you're usually good at that
So on the even more rare occasion,
When I am wrong,
I know you will show me how
And why
And maybe bring it up all the time
And that's fine
Because as long as we are talking,
I know that we are building something better,
as long as we are talking,
we can wear our hearts on our sleeves
we can whisper like the rustle of orange leaves
we can laugh like the kid who believes
in all the good things the world hasnt taken away yet.

To all the people I tried to love before learning to love myself.

 First of all, sorry, I'm clumsy at the best of times

and unbalanceed, more often than not

I may have fallen for you, fallen towards you

fallen on you, or even fallen in front of you

I fall down often, and land hard. 

Eventually, I stopped getting back up.

I was content to sit and lean against the legs of my betters,

for who could fall for that which has already stumbled tumbled and become broken?

Certainly not me. 

But there are places on the ground here,

 as soft as chamomile and warm with the light of an absent sun

I yearn for the early days of love, where I felt more loved than hurt

I yearn for a time when I was ready to swim with strangers and come up

gasping for air and finding none amidst my own laughter.

GOD

 Throw snowballs at the mf some times

youll never hit him

but 

you might wake him up